Lockdown Diary on a Wednesday

You know, I started off so well today, just the dawn and I. And then I messed it up. Now I’m so bedondered and wish I could take it back but I can’t. So I’m gonna rant away here. It makes me feel better I know.
But let this blog be a BIG lesson to you, my noodles. Don’t let things get you down. If you allow yourself to think too much or read too much or get into anyone else’s bad, sad vibes, know that you can get sucked right into it all and that’s such a bugger. I’m so mad as I sit here now. And just now I was so sad. That Dr I read about in New York who took her own life? I mean that is so bloody tragic. So damn tragic. And I can’t say I’m even that surprised to read something like that- there must be many who’d want to put an end to it all in those New York wards, but it shot through my heart like a bloody arrow and quite frankly? I don’t want to know. I do know what’s happening out there, but I don’t want to know anymore damnit.
And I was doing so well, this morning. Was in such a good space. Felt fresh and energised when I woke up just before alarm went off (isn’t it amazing that that happens? Does it happen to you too?) after a good night’s sleep after a flipping amazingly productive day yesterday. Got up, scrambled around for my onesie I’d left on the chair (no light turned on, I’m like a sleuth at this time), zipped it up and snuck through the house in the dark. It’s my best time this. Not a sound or a soul around. Even managed to hide from the dog who was waiting outside the backdoor. The one that’s 145000 years old and I DO love, truly, but can also be a little annoying at times because she barks for nothing at ridiculous times. Like, for nothing. And sometimes reminds me of the dust buster thing in the Teletubbies when she swoops around the floor in between our legs, – ALWAYS WHEN WE ARE ABOUT TO EAT SUPPER. And that would be fine too but sometimes she’s abit smelly, ‘cos she wees on herself poor thing. I hope my kids still love me when I start weeing on myself and getting smelly.
You see how your thoughts can run away again. Not good.
So there I was. You know where hey? In my best space, my best place, in my fluffy onesie and a cup of tea, watching the dawn. I can feel it’s going to be another superb day here in Cape Town. It’s so mild and so fresh and the autumn colours are so soft, so delicate. For a split second I pulled the hood with the little ears over my kop just to feel more snug but that wasn’t even necessary.
I could smell the bush. Elephant dung. The scent of the earth, the specific bark of the trees. I closed my eyes. Imagined myself sitting close to a waterhole watching them coming down to drink, little warthogs kneeling next to them on their knees, the neck of a giraffe in the distance.
And then you know what I did? I picked up that bloody phone that I had brought with me from the bedroom and starting catching up with the world. Emails, and whatsapps and media and memes and all that crap! Aaahhhh. I read about the legal confusion for all the new draft regulations- can you just imagine how many?-  how attorneys still need a permit system. About how the pressure is building to ease up on lockdown, how the IRR (Institute of Race Relations) is warning of ‘catastrophic consequences’, the UN Human Rights Commission singling out SA as a ‘toxic lockdown culture’, the Cuban doctors we’ve now requested going to cost hundreds of millions?? Where are we hiding all this money for heaven’s sake? Our people are starving. Apparently 17000 arrested for lockdown offences. Well, I hope that they at least get fed!!! I’ve heard that some people are happy to spend time in prison ‘cos at least they get a meal. True.
You know why we need to meditate, yoga, run and swim at the edges of the day don’t you? Thank heavens I find that solitude and peace. It’s blissful in that freezing water. I wanted to show you what I could see while I thrashed about in the water last night but of course I couldn’t. I was in the water silly! But it was surreal. The translucent light of dusk, the bright white crescent moon and the first night star.
And this morning’s smell of the African bush.
#Tips for the day
Leave your phone far away
Pat your dog
Wait for the sun, watch for the moon
Carry on making those sandwiches, and the soup and give your stuff away.
Time to get out of my onesie and start my real day. Check what’s joined me on the chair (pic for day) Zoom meeting for hubby, time to leave my study.
Happy Wednesday Lovelies.
PS I didn’t hide too well. The dog spotted me when I opened the fridge door for the milk. I did let her in and gave her biscuits. I hope I go to heaven.
PPS I can hear my hubby upstairs practising his putting on the carpet while in the Zoom meeting. PPS I feel better now.